User talk:Steven Harkins

To Do

• Transparency International (Inc associated Pages)
• Peter Eigen
• Laurence Cockroft

Newspapers/Magazines/News Outlets to be created

Daily Sport | Sunday Sport | The Spectator | Fortune | Time | Newsweek | Financial Times | The Scotsman | The Herald | CNN | Daily Express | The Daily Mirror | The People | Daily Record | Sunday Post | Sunday Mail | Daily Mail and General Trust | ITN | The Barclay Brothers | Channel 4 | Channel 5

News Owners

Daily Mail and General Trust | Guardian Media Group | Hachette Filipacchi | Newsquest plc | Scottish Media Group

Media Links

World Economic Forum | Trilateral Commission | Bilderberg Group (the Economist provided the secretariat in 2008) |LOTIS Committee

tweaks to NCFP

HI Steve

http://www.spinprofiles.org/index.php/Next_Century_Foundation_for_Peace

2nd para: can u give a 2-3 word in-text description of who/what is Michael Ancram and Hamas? eg made-up example:

DIFFICULT FOR READER: Joe Bloggs Inc. collaborated with Nonsense About Science in spinning Jane Pratt's research to the public.

EASY FOR READER: The PR firm Joe Bloggs Inc. collaborated with pro-GM lobby group Nonsense About Science in spinning Jane Smith's scientific research to the public. Smith's research had found that the synthetic sweetener aspartame caused brain tumours in mice.

you see how we briefly need to explain/unpick for the reader who and what everyone is and what their role in the tale we're telling is? For us writers it feels clumsy to keep explaining things but the readers will be grateful.

similarly this sentence:

He describes the political situation in Iraq as "Quite a positive scene".

A priceless quote, but needs slight unpicking, in that you are presumably referring to Iraq in the wake of the US/UK invasion (give date)? you need briefly to note this. don't forget that this article will still be being read in 10 years from now and people have short memories. Also be careful about the context of this quote -- look at the context -- is the quote slightly less outrageous in context? it may be that it is not, in which case leave as is, but we need to be fair... does he go on to say in what way the scene is positive? if so, we do need to say it.

Also the ref no. 3 url hotlink does not seem to work for me. could you check it?

thank you!

--Claire Robinson 13:53, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

PS

PS in http://www.spinprofiles.org/index.php/Next_Century_Foundation_for_Peace

can u briefly note in the body text who William Morris is (when you first mention his name) and what his role in all this is?

thank you... --Claire Robinson 13:57, 24 June 2009 (UTC)

Kelvin MacKenzie

Hi Steve

re http://www.spinprofiles.org/index.php/Kelvin_MacKenzie

few small points:

source for Murdoch's quote first para?

who Roy Greenslade? Briefly introduce him.

Feel free to make internal links for politicians named in Greenslade quote, thus [[Neil Kinnock]] etc.

I would split up Greenslade quote and guide reader thru it, making clear what point he is supposed to draw from each bit. This will also enable you to clarify who "Davis" is in 2nd para of quote:

Davis can have no idea what is about to hit him.

Why is anything about to hit Davis? context needed. you might find it helpful to read http://www.spinprofiles.org/index.php/SpinProfiles:How_to_Structure_an_Article#Using_quotes

--about putting quotes in context.

Birmingham Six: very briefly note who they are. I know there is going to be (one day?) a link to an article on them but easier to have a short phrase in article saying who they are.

In the section, "Birmingham Six", please insert context of quote, who is speaking, etc. as per advice in the "How to structure an article" help page, above.

many thanks

--Claire Robinson 15:03, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

nice

Excellent work on Hillsborough clarification in The Sun

thanks

--Claire Robinson 15:04, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

TI

Hi Steve

not yr page I think but David tells me you are working on this one and wonder if you cd take care of the following on TI:

In the quote introduced by:

TI's origins are in the World Bank:

can u briefly say who is talking and set in context?

the next quote: who Jeremy Pope? briefly say.

the quote:

"Finally, what really made TI was when USAID came with about $3 million. At that stage, I decided I didn't want to manage this thing anymore."

who is talking? set in context.

Re:

Jeremy Pope has started up his own organisations Tiri

briefly say what Tiri is.

do pls put the lists of board members and advisory council in their own sections and if appropriate, you can place towards end of page.

Sentence beginning:

Wesley A. Cragg and William Woof's The US Foreign Corrupt Practices Act...

is astonishingly long and complex. can u unpick it and make it into as many "the cat sat on the mat"-style sentences as needed? one thing that will help you here is to keep linear time in your prose, ie avoid constructions like "after Mr X did this, he told xyz to Mr Y, who had previously done abc to xxx..." and so on and so forth. The problem with this sentence as far as I can tell starts with the word "When". what we need is, x happened, then y happened, and that led to z.

The quote beginning:

Fritz Heimann notes in correspondence...

is long, complex and rather hard to follow. Are we sure that all the material in this para is indeed the quote or does the sentence beginning "It should be noted that the US courts..." belong to someone else? And who is Mr Romualdez, or should it be Romauldez? what is his relevance to the story? and who is Westinghouse?

I would try to summarise the ICC material and the point of the above quote for the reader -- as well as giving the quote. I find it difficult to understand what the point is. And the phrase that leads into the quote, "Of Heimann they say:"--"I assume "they" means the ICC? I would specify.

Re section: Spotlighting Venezuela

can u introduce the quote, say who is speaking etc. and set it in context? what are we expected to draw from this extremely long quote?

Some refs needed, but I am sure you know that!

This is a tough page. Let me know if you get stuck. I don't envy you...

--Claire Robinson 16:33, 25 June 2009 (UTC)